Friday, November 25, 2011

How to behave at your alterations appointment.

I work in the alterations department at a bridal salon. I have seen things you wouldn't imagine. Here are my pet peeves.

#1. "Well I sew a little bit aaaaand......." With those words you have ruined the day for me. I know that I am in for an hour or more of nit picking, whining, and general nastiness disguised as "concern for the bride". Brides leave the crafty people at home for your alterations appointment. Now if you are truly a seamstress and know how garments are constructed I don't mind. Because then you will understand when I say, can't be done, my hands are tied by the company.

#2. We don't stick you with pins! When someone is pinning you there fingers are between the pin and your skin. I have only accidentally pricked one bride and she was twitching so much I could not see where I was pinning. (she stopped moving after she got pricked, lol)

#3. Yes *eyeroll* we steam your dress. Its included in the price of your alterations. And YES *double eyeroll* Your dress has been steamed. Does it look wrinkly? And no, I am not talking about the tiny tiny almost invisible wrinkle on the waist from where you bent down to put your shoes on.

#4. "So how much is this going cost?" I honestly don't know until I have examined your dress. If you have an expensive dress chances are you will have expensive alterations. There are up to 8 layers in a wedding gown, that means I have to take in all 8 layers and then sew them back together. That takes a while. Since our alterations are priced at $1 a minute I have to complete the alterations in the minutes that corporate says it can be done in. (I think they employ elves)

#5. NO Alterations are *NOT* included in the price of your gown. We have no clue how the dress is going to fit you after you get it in from the warehouse. We don't know what you want done to it. Alterations are a separate price because every bride is different. Don't look at me after I have quoted you a $250 ticket and say "I was told that alterations was included, what did I pay for?" Um you paid for a designer dress and half of your dress price was a name. That is not my fault, and you were clearly told when you ordered the dress that alterations were a separate cost, and when I called you to confirm the appointment you were told that. No excuses.

#6. Don't cry. Just don't. When you put on your dress in my room, its been in a box for 6 weeks or more its not steamed, and it wont fit just perfect. THAT'S OKAY. Its okay for your dress not to fit. That's what I'm for. Because as women we are all different, and different is good. So please don't cry, I can fix it. I promise.

#7. That little pudge between your arm and your breast? Everyone has it. Size 2 has it. Size 24 has it. Nobody cares.

#8. I hate it when people are late to appointments. And you all seem to show up at the same time. So I have a bride on my platform, and 2 in rooms waiting with their dresses on waiting for me to finish with you. And then I get complaints that you feel "rushed". If you would show up for your appointment, or even call to say you will be late you wouldn't feel rushed because I have a time just for you!

#9. "The lady down the street could fix that!" First of all wedding gowns are a completely different kind of sewing than quilting and dressmaking. I know that the techniques used on wedding gowns are vastly different from regular clothing. (jeans, shirts, dresses) And the lady who does repairs and hems out of her home does not have the equipment that we have available to us.

#10. Shave your armpits! You can not believe all the nasty armpits I have had my hands up in. 99% of people need the side seams taken in. So my hands are in your armpits. PLEASE shave and deodorize before you come.

Well that's all for now but I'm sure I will come up with more as our busy season begins.